The funny thing with prayer is that sometimes the answers you pray to find come in a very unexpected way. Sometimes you end up in a place you didn't even think you would be. Again. Guess it goes to show us (again and again) that God knows our hearts better than we do and He knows what our future holds.
So, here's what I am talking about: in December Mike and I decided to take some time apart....too bad our "time apart" really wasn't separate. We still talked and when we did, we talked a lot about what went wrong with us and what we could do to fix it. The fixing part meant that both of us needed to bend more than we did before and that we had to stop trying to fit each other into an image we had in our minds of what we should be. That can be a scary thing to do. But as scary as it can be, it's exciting. It's exciting to see things in a different light and to truly appreciate him for who he is (even though some of the stuff he does annoys the heck out of me). Without all my ideals on a "perfect for me" kind of guy, I am able to enjoy him without the second guessing and the what ifs.
About three weeks before we decided to give it another go, officially, I had four people tell me that just because he wasn't the strong spiritual family leader I had envisioned being with, to not discredit him. People change and grow and maybe he needed/wanted my support and encouragement to help him in his journey to having a relationship with Jesus. That whole statement just kinda floored me. The people who told me this are all people I admire, faith wise, and all people that I respect. Point taken, God. So, with that thought in my head and in my prayers, Mike and I started having the types of conversations we should have had in September before we started dating. It is so amazing when you have these light bulb moments and you have someone sharing them with you! In our many conversations, I learned a lot about him that I didn't know. Many times I have been pleasantly surprised to find out things about him that I had hoped to find in him...in all areas, but mainly faith and family.
I am not perfect, he is not perfect....but we both laid aside our ideals and differences and have created a relationship that is built on honesty, trust, open communication, quite a bit of silliness, and faith. I could go on and on about how he is so different than other guys but I won't. But he is pretty terrific and I love what we have together. I know that there are many people who don't get this or us and that's fine. It's not their life to live, it's ours. Second chances are a wonderful thing!
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Monday, February 3, 2014
Discipline and Trust
The past couple of weeks I have noticed that so many things in my life have brought me to a place of stepping back and trusting God. Some little and some big, but all have proven to me time and again that if you just give it to God, He will take care of it. It's humbling and freeing all at once. I am a worrier by nature. Sometimes I sugar coat it and say I am a thinker, but I am just a plain old worrier. I have gotten much better in recent years, but that is still my go to response in times of trouble or doubt. I want to break that habit. I want to be able to say that I gave it to God before I had time to sabotage my peace. People often say it's good to remember your blessings and all the things that God has done in your life. I think that is good, but I also think it's good to think about all of the goodness he has in store for us. Is it hard to think about that when your car is broken down and you can't pay for it? Yes, it's hard...we are human. But, what you can choose to think about is how God will work that situation for good.
That is a true story, by the way. My car broke down, got fixed (super expensive), then broke again...yeah. I sold it. But, I did stress about it a lot. The solution came in the form of my parents who graciously signed over their van to me. They have a truck to drive, I have a van to drive and I was able to sell my Escape to a friend who was able to fix the car up on his own. Now his wife has a good car to drive. That whole scenario is not out the ordinary, people buy and sell cars all the time. What is unique is that this all happened in a matter of 24 hours. I decided to sell it and use the money to repair the two things the van needed to have fixed, so I simply posted a picture on my Facebook page and said I wanted to sell it and what was needing to be fixed. In about two hours, I had it sold and they came to pick it up the next day. It was so fast and so flawless. Thank you, God, for blessing us all!!
Quick side note- I have the most awesome parents ever. My mom loved her van but she wanted to give it to us. And you know what? We love the van! It's got so much space for the kids and I. I am really pleased with it, it fits our lifestyle right now perfectly. These kids are only going to get bigger.
So, the title also says discipline along with trust. The discipline I am referring to is for myself. I have told myself for the past few years that I would start tithing next week and the week after and so on. All the while I felt the conviction of wanting to give but not trusting that my financial needs would be met. It's not a secret that I have a limited income. But, this income and life is what I choose and I make the best of it that I can. Don't get me wrong, my kids and I do not lack for anything. But, I realized I have been holding onto money so tightly because I was so afraid I wouldn't have money to spend on fun stuff. That's hard to put out there publicly. But hey, I don't claim to be perfect and I stumble as much as the next person. But it's true. I pay my bills, we always have food in the house, all of our basic needs are met. But, because I spend so much of my income on paying what is necessary, I get a little crazy with the spending when I have extra. That is truly not how I want to be. I have made so many financial changes in the last few years, out of need, and I want to be able to change this too. My goal this year is to actually have money in a savings account and to tithe weekly as I get paid. I sat down the other night and wrote out the entire month of February's finances and I factored in tithe and savings. I feel pretty good about it! I am determined to stick to my budget and to save for the things I want. Just doing a budget and writing it all out made me feel free. Finances can be so tricky...money can buy everything but it cages you in because it buys everything. I don't want to be owned by money, what it buys, or what it represents. My lifestyle drastically changed when I got divorced, the life I was accustomed to was no longer there and I was learning how to live on 1/4 of the income I had been living on before. I have often said that even though that was a huge change, I am happier now than I ever was before. It's been an eye opening few years, I feel so much richer now. I have such an incredibly great quality of life for my kids and I to share. And that is the very reason I want to tithe...God provides all of this for us. None of this would be possible without Him.
I feel like this post is all over the map. In my head, this all blended together better. Oh well. What you see is what you get. And hopefully you understand where this is all coming from. I have been wanting to sit down and write this post out for a couple days but it seems like every time I turned on my computer, my brain was out to lunch. Now that I have written it out, I can spend the remainder of my evening deciding which book to start (book #9 for the year!) and get a few chapters in before it's lights out!
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
That is a true story, by the way. My car broke down, got fixed (super expensive), then broke again...yeah. I sold it. But, I did stress about it a lot. The solution came in the form of my parents who graciously signed over their van to me. They have a truck to drive, I have a van to drive and I was able to sell my Escape to a friend who was able to fix the car up on his own. Now his wife has a good car to drive. That whole scenario is not out the ordinary, people buy and sell cars all the time. What is unique is that this all happened in a matter of 24 hours. I decided to sell it and use the money to repair the two things the van needed to have fixed, so I simply posted a picture on my Facebook page and said I wanted to sell it and what was needing to be fixed. In about two hours, I had it sold and they came to pick it up the next day. It was so fast and so flawless. Thank you, God, for blessing us all!!
Quick side note- I have the most awesome parents ever. My mom loved her van but she wanted to give it to us. And you know what? We love the van! It's got so much space for the kids and I. I am really pleased with it, it fits our lifestyle right now perfectly. These kids are only going to get bigger.
So, the title also says discipline along with trust. The discipline I am referring to is for myself. I have told myself for the past few years that I would start tithing next week and the week after and so on. All the while I felt the conviction of wanting to give but not trusting that my financial needs would be met. It's not a secret that I have a limited income. But, this income and life is what I choose and I make the best of it that I can. Don't get me wrong, my kids and I do not lack for anything. But, I realized I have been holding onto money so tightly because I was so afraid I wouldn't have money to spend on fun stuff. That's hard to put out there publicly. But hey, I don't claim to be perfect and I stumble as much as the next person. But it's true. I pay my bills, we always have food in the house, all of our basic needs are met. But, because I spend so much of my income on paying what is necessary, I get a little crazy with the spending when I have extra. That is truly not how I want to be. I have made so many financial changes in the last few years, out of need, and I want to be able to change this too. My goal this year is to actually have money in a savings account and to tithe weekly as I get paid. I sat down the other night and wrote out the entire month of February's finances and I factored in tithe and savings. I feel pretty good about it! I am determined to stick to my budget and to save for the things I want. Just doing a budget and writing it all out made me feel free. Finances can be so tricky...money can buy everything but it cages you in because it buys everything. I don't want to be owned by money, what it buys, or what it represents. My lifestyle drastically changed when I got divorced, the life I was accustomed to was no longer there and I was learning how to live on 1/4 of the income I had been living on before. I have often said that even though that was a huge change, I am happier now than I ever was before. It's been an eye opening few years, I feel so much richer now. I have such an incredibly great quality of life for my kids and I to share. And that is the very reason I want to tithe...God provides all of this for us. None of this would be possible without Him.
I feel like this post is all over the map. In my head, this all blended together better. Oh well. What you see is what you get. And hopefully you understand where this is all coming from. I have been wanting to sit down and write this post out for a couple days but it seems like every time I turned on my computer, my brain was out to lunch. Now that I have written it out, I can spend the remainder of my evening deciding which book to start (book #9 for the year!) and get a few chapters in before it's lights out!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Life Verse
On Sunday, our Pastor asked us if we had a life verse. Something we cling to in our walk with God. We were to discuss it at our Care Connection Groups this week. I loved this "assignment". (I actually love all the "homework" we get...I can't help that I am a nerdy, study type) I know my life verse. I actually have a few. But there is one that stands out from all the rest. This is it:
This verse came to me in a study I did a couple years ago. It is special to me because it truly does encompass how I (try to) live my life. It's not always easy to just let go and let God, but it's always so good when you see the fruit of that.
This leads to me to what I am thankful for today. I am always thankful for many things each day, but today I am thankful for my Care Connection Group. I love the people I have gotten to know, the friendships I have made, and I love (love, love!) our discussions. We always have so much fun together no matter what we are doing. It's been a breath of fresh air for me to be part of something that is an encouragement to me in my walk with God as well as a welcome break from everyday life.
This verse came to me in a study I did a couple years ago. It is special to me because it truly does encompass how I (try to) live my life. It's not always easy to just let go and let God, but it's always so good when you see the fruit of that.
This leads to me to what I am thankful for today. I am always thankful for many things each day, but today I am thankful for my Care Connection Group. I love the people I have gotten to know, the friendships I have made, and I love (love, love!) our discussions. We always have so much fun together no matter what we are doing. It's been a breath of fresh air for me to be part of something that is an encouragement to me in my walk with God as well as a welcome break from everyday life.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Here we go, again!
Wow. A year long break from blogging. A lot has happened in a year. Where to begin?!
Well...For starters, the kids and I moved into our own house. We actually got to move into my grandma's house. This is the same house that she lived in for more than half her life. This is the house that my sister and i spent summer vacations in. Now I get to raise my kids here. My parents and a couple of their friends spent all last spring and summer remodeling it, cleaning it, etc. We moved into our new home the second weekend in September. It has been perfect for us and we love it. I have even overcome my fear and dislike of gardening...yeah, I know. I have a thriving container garden and pots of flowers that I have grown from seeds. I am very proud!
Along with a shiny new house, we got two goldfish and two adorable cats that we all love. We got Belle in November. She was a complete surprise for the kids. I planned for two weeks to get her without them knowing. It was so fun to surprise them when we went to pick her up. She quickly became the spoiled princess of the house and we wouldn't have it any other way. We recently added Mavis kitty to our clan. We have had her for about a month now and she is something else. A little spitfire. Belle did not like her at all for about 4 days. Then suddenly they were best friends. It is so fun to watch them play together. And yes, they do try to get the goldfish. About those fish...the kids won them at the school carnival. yay. I have always hated the idea of fish because they are so dirty. But the night the kids won them, I was a changed woman. Watching their excited faces as they watched the fish swim around made me change my mind about fish. The very next day we drove down to the pet store and bought up all the supplies we need for the long haul of being fish owners. Fish One and Fish Two are now big, fat, happy goldfish. And, it deserves mention, we are now owners of a baby praying mantis that Zane named Mr. Greenwald. He found them last night at the pool.
I have now completed a full school year at the primary school and I love it. I love the staff and I love the kids. Doing a whole school year was so much better than joining mid year and feeling awkwardly out of place. Half way through the school year, I got offered a job at the Christian school and I accepted. I am now the secretary of that school as well as working my two hours at the primary school. I am officially employed full time with summers off! How can it get better than that?!
Speaking of school...Zane is starting second grade this year and is so excited! He got the teacher he really wanted, which makes it so much cooler. He is a reading maniac and is super excited to have his own Kindle to read on. I can't believe he is in second grade now. Crazy. Miss Claire will be in Pre-K this year. She finished her second year at Headstart in May and then transferred to the Christian school where she will stay for all of next year. She has blossomed even more in a smaller class and has really come out her shell. So with one kid at each of the schools I work at, I get to see them both throughout the day. I love it!
I am really looking forward to this coming school year. Last year was a crazy roller coaster of fun but busy days and months. I signed on as secretary of the PTO last year and that kept me busy. I also volunteered at Awana full time and did games and secretary there. I also tried to volunteer at both Headstart and the primary school as much as I could. It was a crazy time. This coming school year is already significantly less busy. I won't be doing PTO as an officer, I won't be running games at Awana, but I will try to volunteer when I can. Working full time is tricky when it comes to volunteering, even with working where I want to volunteer. But I have been greatly blessed with wonderful, understanding and supportive employers in each school. I'm telling you, you can't dream up a better deal than this, folks.
So what else is there? I'm still single. I did meet someone who I had hopes of getting to know better, but we ended up parting ways due to some pretty major lifestyle differences. I have tried online dating websites but I always end up feeling really discouraged. I just know God will bring someone into my life when it's His timing and not mine. So...I wait as patiently as I can and pray a lot. I would love to meet someone who could share this amazing life with me and the kids. I would love for the kids to have someone in their lives who could encourage and love them. I know he is out there...so I wait, I pray and I trust God.
But on a different note, I have a super awesome group of friends here. I am so lucky to have so many amazingly fun people in my life. I am so grateful for each one of them. It's wonderful to be part of such a small, mostly close knit community.
It's amazing what happens when you just let go and trust God. I can't even tell you the countless ways I have seen His provision, guidance, and love poured out on me and my family in this past year. It never ceases to amaze me just how mighty He really is.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Studying
Studying for school as a 31 year old single mom is so different than it was at 19 and no kids. I know that is totally shocking you right now. But seriously, I have completed my first week of school and can honestly tell you I love it. Even the challenging things.
And let me tell you, the challenging stuff is not what I expected it to be. I was sure my history class would be my downfall but this week my music class has been trying for me. I am holding out hope that the next few weeks will be less confusing.
I'm challenged by the material, confused by it, pretty much exhausted by the end of the day when I get to work on my school stuff, but it's all worth it. When I was stressing about it all this week I asked for prayer and prayed myself. I just wanted peace in my decision and boldness to speak up in class. I asked and I received both. God is so good. I was reminded that going to school is a blessing and God has guided me every step of the way. I'm not worried anymore. I'm going to do my best and practice taking risks.
And let me tell you, the challenging stuff is not what I expected it to be. I was sure my history class would be my downfall but this week my music class has been trying for me. I am holding out hope that the next few weeks will be less confusing.
I'm challenged by the material, confused by it, pretty much exhausted by the end of the day when I get to work on my school stuff, but it's all worth it. When I was stressing about it all this week I asked for prayer and prayed myself. I just wanted peace in my decision and boldness to speak up in class. I asked and I received both. God is so good. I was reminded that going to school is a blessing and God has guided me every step of the way. I'm not worried anymore. I'm going to do my best and practice taking risks.
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