Discipline and Trust

The past couple of weeks I have noticed that so many things in my life have brought me to a place of stepping back and trusting God. Some little and some big, but all have proven to me time and again that if you just give it to God, He will take care of it. It's humbling and freeing all at once. I am a worrier by nature. Sometimes I sugar coat it and say I am a thinker, but I am just a plain old worrier. I have gotten much better in recent years, but that is still my go to response in times of trouble or doubt. I want to break that habit. I want to be able to say that I gave it to God before I had time to sabotage my peace. People often say it's good to remember your blessings and all the things that God has done in your life. I think that is good, but I also think it's good to think about all of the goodness he has in store for us. Is it hard to think about that when your car is broken down and you can't pay for it? Yes, it's hard...we are human. But, what you can choose to think about is how God will work that situation for good.

 

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."  Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

That is a true story, by the way. My car broke down, got fixed (super expensive), then broke again...yeah. I sold it. But, I did stress about it a lot. The solution came in the form of my parents who graciously signed over their van to me. They have a truck to drive, I have a van to drive and I was able to sell my Escape to a friend who was able to fix the car up on his own. Now his wife has a good car to drive. That whole scenario is not out the ordinary, people buy and sell cars all the time. What is unique is that this all happened in a matter of 24 hours. I decided to sell it and use the money to repair the two things the van needed to have fixed, so I simply posted a picture on my Facebook page and said I wanted to sell it and what was needing to be fixed. In about two hours, I had it sold and they came to pick it up the next day. It was so fast and so flawless. Thank you, God, for blessing us all!!


Quick side note- I have the most awesome parents ever. My mom loved her van but she wanted to give it to us. And you know what? We love the van! It's got so much space for the kids and I. I am really pleased with it, it fits our lifestyle right now perfectly. These kids are only going to get bigger.




So, the title also says discipline along with trust. The discipline I am referring to is for myself. I have told myself for the past few years that I would start tithing next week and the week after and so on. All the while I felt the conviction of wanting to give but not trusting that my financial needs would be met. It's not a secret that I have a limited income. But, this income and life is what I choose and I make the best of it that I can. Don't get me wrong, my kids and I do not lack for anything. But, I realized I have been holding onto money so tightly because I was so afraid I wouldn't have money to spend on fun stuff. That's hard to put out there publicly. But hey, I don't claim to be perfect and I stumble as much as the next person. But it's true. I pay my bills, we always have food in the house, all of our basic needs are met. But, because I spend so much of my income on paying what is necessary, I get a little crazy with the spending when I have extra. That is truly not how I want to be. I have made so many financial changes in the last few years, out of need, and I want to be able to change this too. My goal this year is to actually have money in a savings account and to tithe weekly as I get paid. I sat down the other night and wrote out the entire month of February's finances and I factored in tithe and savings. I feel pretty good about it! I am determined to stick to my budget and to save for the things I want. Just doing a budget and writing it all out made me feel free. Finances can be so tricky...money can buy everything but it cages you in because it buys everything. I don't want to be owned by money, what it buys, or what it represents. My lifestyle drastically changed when I got divorced, the life I was accustomed to was no longer there and I was learning how to live on 1/4 of the income I had been living on before. I have often said that even though that was a huge change, I am happier now than I ever was before. It's been an eye opening few years, I feel so much richer now. I have such an incredibly great quality of life for my kids and I to share. And that is the very reason I want to tithe...God provides all of this for us. None of this would be possible without Him.


I feel like this post is all over the map. In my head, this all blended together better. Oh well. What you see is what you get. And hopefully you understand where this is all coming from. I have been wanting to sit down and write this post out for a couple days but it seems like every time I turned on my computer, my brain was out to lunch. Now that I have written it out, I can spend the remainder of my evening deciding which book to start (book #9 for the year!) and get a few chapters in before it's lights out!

School!

We started a new school year today!  Zane is in second grade and Claire is in Pre K this year and they are both so excited!  They both have super great teachers again this year,  which makes school even more fun. Although,  Claire would say that painting makes school the most fun.  Zane just says he feels older,  like a teenager and not like a kid now. I guess that's what happens when you turn 7 and start second grade.  :)

I also started back to work today and am happily employed by just one school now.  Last week I resigned as a school district employee and am committed full time to the Christian school. I am the secretary there and I love my job!  So today,  I enjoyed my first day back also. 

Besides starting the new school year,  both kids have decided to play soccer this fall and have started practices this week.  They play in two different age groups and two different teams,  so we are very busy! So far,  they both really like it and I am glad!  Neither one of them have ever shown interest in sports until now.  We are eagerly anticipating their first games next weekend. Nana and Papa are coming to visit and staying the night before so we can all attend the games as a family. The day of the games also happens to be Papa's birthday,  so we will be celebrating that as well!

Last,  but not least, some pictures from the last couple of days. 

Busy!

Boy, the last two weeks in July flew by. The kids and I stayed super busy with friends, birthday parties, library trips, church and visits with Nana and Papa (my parents). We have had such a fun summer but I do feel a little bad that we haven't done any of the things I set out to do this summer...camping, hiking, a zoo trip, trips to the beach. All those have been neglected. Well, all but one. My parents and I have planned a surprise trip to the zoo in about a week and a half. The kids are going to be so excited! They have both only been to a zoo once and it was when they were 1 and 3. Neither of them remember the trip so this is their first real zoo trip. I have to say, I am really looking forward to it myself. I love going to the zoo!

I think the most exciting thing that has happened in the past two weeks is that my Zaney boy turned 7! He had a really wonderful birthday this year. He got to have a pool party with all his closest friends and he got many of his favorite foods, and he got a lot of really amazing birthday gifts. He is such a fun kid. I am so proud of him for all he does and who he is. And I just cannot believe that he is 7 years old now. I'll leave you with some of my favorite pictures from his birthday and one of his last birthday gift from me-he got his left ear pierced yesterday. He has asked me about it for a year so I let him do it. So far he really loves it. He said he is the new Zane. hehe

Family Swim

For the past two weeks, my kids have been taking swim lessons in the evenings. It's been a wonderful experience for them. Before they took swim lessons, Zane would kinda get his face wet, splash a lot and cling to me for dear life in the big pool. Claire would not let go of me in the big pool and refused to get her face wet in the kiddie pool. I am proud to say that now both of my kids are comfortable in the water! Zane has no fear of jumping off and going under water. He can actually swim underwater now. The only thing he won't do is go down the big twisty slide. Claire will now jump in the pool, slide down the slide about a hundred times each visit and swim around on her own with her life jacket on. I am so proud of them! I don't think we will do another round of lessons this summer but we will do it again in the spring.

This evening after their lessons ended, we stayed for family swim and then part of open swim. we had so much fun! We met our friends Jessica and Madie for family/open swim. It was nice to hang out with them. I wish we could have taken a picture of the three kids sitting by the edge of the pool slurping down ginormous otter pops that were half their size. It was so cute!

This is us after family swim. :)

Tonight I am thankful for the opportunity to do these kinds of things with my kids. I am thankful that we can find joy in simple things like going swimming. I love that we have entered into the years of staying up late, sleeping in, going out and exploring and having fun together. It's nice to not be so tightly wrapped around a schedule. Of course, this is summer living and things will be different when school and work start again. But for now I am loving every minute of it.

4th of July

I am a week behind in this blog...but I'm ok with it. Today was such a good day. I'm thankful for this country and the freedom we have. I'm thankful for my kids and my family and the fun we shared today. I hope you all had a wonderful day surrounded by people you love!

Family

Today I'm thankful for spending time as a family. My parents, the kids and myself all went to see Madagascar 3 in 3D today. It was so much fun!! I love when we all go and do fun stuff together. The kids loved the outing and the movie. We all loved the movie, actually. It's hilarious and worth going to the theater to see. :)

Dad

Today (and every day) I am thankful for my dad. I can't think of a better dad to have while growing up and also now. I also can't think of a better Papa for my kids to have. We all love him so much and all that he does for us.

Thoughts

Remember a couple weeks ago when I wrote about how I am happy being single? Yeah, now I know for sure I am. I had the opportunity to meet a nice guy this past weekend and I enjoyed myself on the "date". But I left feeling unsettled about the whole ordeal. And it wasn't due to him or anything he said or did. I realized later that night what it was. I prayed and prayed about the entire situation and God answered me. In the quiet corners of my heart and mind, in the same subtle voice He always uses. He confirmed what I already thought- There is more growing for me to do before I can be with someone else. Way back in January 2011, God spoke into my life via a friend who delivered this message to me: lean on God as you would a husband and let Him guide you. Hosea 2:19-20 says " I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord." Now, this is not meant in literal terms, but on a much bigger level. The collective church is the bride, but for me, these verses have been such a lifeline. I have learned how to lean on Him and listen for His voice in my heart and when I am making decisions. It's not always easy to hear but He is faithful to answer my prayers in one way or another. All that being said, I am so thankful to serve a faithful and loving God who is always by my side and guiding me.
I am not going to go into detail, but this last two weeks have been somewhat strange for me. But in a good way. I try my best to live a life that is Christ-centered and to let His love shine through me. I am not claiming I am a perfect person because I have plenty of mistakes and lose my way from time to time, like we all do. But I was told on two separate occasions that my faith is admirable or inspiring. I was kinda blown away by those statements. My dad told me back in February when I made the decision to get rooted in our community and started attending a local church that I was going to be a light to this community and I would be a witness. I didn't think much of it other than my dad being super encouraging, the way he always is. But when I talked with him about the past few weeks he simply said "It's good to know the impact you have on lives, from time to time. It can be an encouragement". So, with that in mind, I am thankful tonight for unknowingly acting as a witness to those around me. How awesome to know that I can have a positive impact on other's lives. I am just so humbled and blessed by that.
Because today is my mom's birthday I am going to add that I am super thankful she is my mom, that I get to see her all the time and that we have such a good relationship. I wish all moms and daughters could be this way. Today was not the most fun birthday she ever had, I'm sure. Claire is sick, so we are all trying to get through this whiny, crying, sick girl phase together and on top of that all, my mom started feeling yucky today too. But she managed to get through the day, grocery shopping and all, and was able to enjoy a nice dinner and some ice cream cake before going to bed. I hope it was a fluke with the sick feeling!
And on a final note of thanks....I am thankful this is the last week of school!! Last few days of work for me, til September and last few days of Zane being a Kindergartner! Wow, time flies. I can't believe he will be in first grade next year. My baby is not a baby anymore! Claire still has school, two mornings a week, until the end of July. Early Head Start is weird. But it will give her some time to do things with her little buddies in class and it will give Zane and I time to spend together that we don't get a lot of.

As I was about to post this, I switched over to Facebook to check something out and this popped on my newsfeed. Thank you Joyce Meyer for always having such great tidbits to think on and enjoy!

"God will make all the pieces of your life work together for His purpose, even when you don’t see tomorrow’s provision."

November

I have so many fun things to look forward to in November. Thanksgiving, a visit with my sister and her family, the kids getting to see their dad, my daughter turning 3 and Breaking Dawn 1 in theaters.

Is it November yet??