Discipline and Trust

The past couple of weeks I have noticed that so many things in my life have brought me to a place of stepping back and trusting God. Some little and some big, but all have proven to me time and again that if you just give it to God, He will take care of it. It's humbling and freeing all at once. I am a worrier by nature. Sometimes I sugar coat it and say I am a thinker, but I am just a plain old worrier. I have gotten much better in recent years, but that is still my go to response in times of trouble or doubt. I want to break that habit. I want to be able to say that I gave it to God before I had time to sabotage my peace. People often say it's good to remember your blessings and all the things that God has done in your life. I think that is good, but I also think it's good to think about all of the goodness he has in store for us. Is it hard to think about that when your car is broken down and you can't pay for it? Yes, it's hard...we are human. But, what you can choose to think about is how God will work that situation for good.

 

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."  Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

That is a true story, by the way. My car broke down, got fixed (super expensive), then broke again...yeah. I sold it. But, I did stress about it a lot. The solution came in the form of my parents who graciously signed over their van to me. They have a truck to drive, I have a van to drive and I was able to sell my Escape to a friend who was able to fix the car up on his own. Now his wife has a good car to drive. That whole scenario is not out the ordinary, people buy and sell cars all the time. What is unique is that this all happened in a matter of 24 hours. I decided to sell it and use the money to repair the two things the van needed to have fixed, so I simply posted a picture on my Facebook page and said I wanted to sell it and what was needing to be fixed. In about two hours, I had it sold and they came to pick it up the next day. It was so fast and so flawless. Thank you, God, for blessing us all!!


Quick side note- I have the most awesome parents ever. My mom loved her van but she wanted to give it to us. And you know what? We love the van! It's got so much space for the kids and I. I am really pleased with it, it fits our lifestyle right now perfectly. These kids are only going to get bigger.




So, the title also says discipline along with trust. The discipline I am referring to is for myself. I have told myself for the past few years that I would start tithing next week and the week after and so on. All the while I felt the conviction of wanting to give but not trusting that my financial needs would be met. It's not a secret that I have a limited income. But, this income and life is what I choose and I make the best of it that I can. Don't get me wrong, my kids and I do not lack for anything. But, I realized I have been holding onto money so tightly because I was so afraid I wouldn't have money to spend on fun stuff. That's hard to put out there publicly. But hey, I don't claim to be perfect and I stumble as much as the next person. But it's true. I pay my bills, we always have food in the house, all of our basic needs are met. But, because I spend so much of my income on paying what is necessary, I get a little crazy with the spending when I have extra. That is truly not how I want to be. I have made so many financial changes in the last few years, out of need, and I want to be able to change this too. My goal this year is to actually have money in a savings account and to tithe weekly as I get paid. I sat down the other night and wrote out the entire month of February's finances and I factored in tithe and savings. I feel pretty good about it! I am determined to stick to my budget and to save for the things I want. Just doing a budget and writing it all out made me feel free. Finances can be so tricky...money can buy everything but it cages you in because it buys everything. I don't want to be owned by money, what it buys, or what it represents. My lifestyle drastically changed when I got divorced, the life I was accustomed to was no longer there and I was learning how to live on 1/4 of the income I had been living on before. I have often said that even though that was a huge change, I am happier now than I ever was before. It's been an eye opening few years, I feel so much richer now. I have such an incredibly great quality of life for my kids and I to share. And that is the very reason I want to tithe...God provides all of this for us. None of this would be possible without Him.


I feel like this post is all over the map. In my head, this all blended together better. Oh well. What you see is what you get. And hopefully you understand where this is all coming from. I have been wanting to sit down and write this post out for a couple days but it seems like every time I turned on my computer, my brain was out to lunch. Now that I have written it out, I can spend the remainder of my evening deciding which book to start (book #9 for the year!) and get a few chapters in before it's lights out!

Unexpected

I always like when I have a plan and God comes in and changes it.  He always finds a way to give us what we need instead of what we think we want. 

I wasn't expecting to spend most of my kid free morning visiting with a friend,  but I did.  She and I had a bit of a rocky start this week but this morning was just the thing I needed.  (and maybe she needed it too) Nobody is perfect and I certainly don't claim to be,  but it's not always easy to rise above our own hurt feelings or circumstances to see the other person for who they are. 

I'm thankful today for the chances to do the right thing, the chances to make things right with someone,  to try to make things the best they can be,  or to simply move forward in the hope that everything is going to be alright. I am humbled by the subtle ways God shows me things I can work on so that He can shine through me. 

Family Swim

For the past two weeks, my kids have been taking swim lessons in the evenings. It's been a wonderful experience for them. Before they took swim lessons, Zane would kinda get his face wet, splash a lot and cling to me for dear life in the big pool. Claire would not let go of me in the big pool and refused to get her face wet in the kiddie pool. I am proud to say that now both of my kids are comfortable in the water! Zane has no fear of jumping off and going under water. He can actually swim underwater now. The only thing he won't do is go down the big twisty slide. Claire will now jump in the pool, slide down the slide about a hundred times each visit and swim around on her own with her life jacket on. I am so proud of them! I don't think we will do another round of lessons this summer but we will do it again in the spring.

This evening after their lessons ended, we stayed for family swim and then part of open swim. we had so much fun! We met our friends Jessica and Madie for family/open swim. It was nice to hang out with them. I wish we could have taken a picture of the three kids sitting by the edge of the pool slurping down ginormous otter pops that were half their size. It was so cute!

This is us after family swim. :)

Tonight I am thankful for the opportunity to do these kinds of things with my kids. I am thankful that we can find joy in simple things like going swimming. I love that we have entered into the years of staying up late, sleeping in, going out and exploring and having fun together. It's nice to not be so tightly wrapped around a schedule. Of course, this is summer living and things will be different when school and work start again. But for now I am loving every minute of it.

Life Verse

On Sunday, our Pastor asked us if we had a life verse. Something we cling to in our walk with God. We were to discuss it at our Care Connection Groups this week. I loved this "assignment". (I actually love all the "homework" we get...I can't help that I am a nerdy, study type) I know my life verse. I actually have a few. But there is one that stands out from all the rest. This is it:

This verse came to me in a study I did a couple years ago. It is special to me because it truly does encompass how I (try to) live my life. It's not always easy to just let go and let God, but it's always so good when you see the fruit of that.

This leads to me to what I am thankful for today. I am always thankful for many things each day, but today I am thankful for my Care Connection Group. I love the people I have gotten to know, the friendships I have made, and I love (love, love!) our discussions. We always have so much fun together no matter what we are doing. It's been a breath of fresh air for me to be part of something that is an encouragement to me in my walk with God as well as a welcome break from everyday life.

Random

So, today was a little of this and a little of that. It was kind of a random day. I was gone all morning by myself (!!) and I got a lot done. I'm feeling pretty good about myself tonight- I got the kids' "big" Christmas gifts put on layaway as well as some stuff for school in the fall. I like being ahead of the game in both those areas. I will continue to pick up stuff for school as I find it, over the summer. And the same goes for Christmas. I have my gift list written out and now I'm in the shopping and making part of the whole deal. I love giving gifts so I'm super excited!
While I was out I also got an oil change. I need to be better about that. I got spoiled when I was married because not only did I have a man around to make sure it got done, but he also did it all at our house. So many things to remember when it's just you! I think I can handle it. Maybe.
This afternoon I took the kids up to the public pool and we met up with friends. It was a fun outing! It was pretty hot out there and I'm glad we only stayed an hour and a half or so. We may need to go to the morning open swim next time. I had on SPF 70 and still got a little brown. Even Claire got a tan. That's what we get for going swimming outside. :)
Tonight, I'm thankful for this kind of day...days where I get a lot accomplished but still manage to have fun and spend time with the kids. We all enjoyed the day. They went to bed a bit ago and were out right away just about. I love it!

Life

Life is busy. Still. But really really good. I like good and I like busy.
As weird as I think it is that Claire is still in school til the end of July, I'm really thankful for it. She loves going to school and is enjoying that she gets to go and Zane is "stuck" with me. I'm thankful she has time away from Zane and me, time that is special for her and a class she loves going to. Zane and I spent an hour and a half there today with her and that was fun. She is so cute in her own element.
We had friends over yesterday and we enjoyed time with them. The weather was beautiful so we took a walk through the orchards and then down to the river beach. I'm so thankful for simple but entertaining and fun ways to spend time. I'm thankful that my kids love going for walks and exploring.
The last half of our week is full of school, library visit, garage sales, and meeting friends at the pool. Im thankful to have such a well rounded group of friends and acquaintances to spend time with. It's so fun to know so many people with kids similar ages now. I guess our summer won't be lazy and I think I'm ok with it. I'm still hoping for a zoo visit soon, though.

Blur

Supposedly it's summer vacation. I'm still so busy that I haven't had time to enjoy the vacation part of this whole deal. Maybe next week.
Tonight I am thankful for friends to text with when I crave "company". It's nice to have people to talk to, even of it is just about what you're eating after a stressful day. LOL
I'm also thankful for some great weather this week. We have all gotten the chance to be outside more and it's been so nice. The kids are loving all the outdoor time and space they have now. It's also wearing them out and they are sleeping in later each day...bonus!
Sleep. I'm thankful for a good nights sleep...on my new ginormous and extremely comfortable bed!! I haven't woken up with any body aches or pain all week since I got this new bed. It's awesome! No pain makes me a happy person which makes me a happy mom and that makes my kids happy. :) It's a wonderful chain to be part of.

Time

Tonight I'm thankful for friendships that don't change with time and distance. I love my friends!!

Spring colds

Today I realized I have a little bit of a spring cold. I'm thankful for this information because it means my allergies have died down significantly. The past few weeks have been so brutal, allergy wise. I basically wanted to scratch out my eyeballs all day. Ugh! I will take a mild cold any day.
Our weekend was fun and relaxing yet productive. I got a lot of cleaning done and the kids got to play outside all day, both days! I'm thankful that they are comfortable enough, now, to go outside and play by themselves. Last year they wouldn't go outside without one of us with them. It's been so nice to just let them go and play!
Last night I watched most of an Adele concert online "with" my BFF Randi. She lives in San Mateo, CA and we haven't seen each other since her wedding, last July. I miss her so much but most of our almost 13 year friendship has been spent long distance. Which sucks but it's the norm. I love her like my own sister and I'm SO thankful to have a friend who has seen me through good times, bad times, weird times and crazy times. We may be almost complete opposites but we couldn't be a better pair. :)

Go-Go-Go

This past week was go-go-go for me. It was such a fun week though! I volunteered in Zane's class, got recognized at his school assembly for my volunteering, did Claire's field day at her school with her, went to lunch with my friend (without kids!), read a good book, shopped, and enjoyed some quality time with my kiddos outside and in. Whew!
I'm thankful that even though I'm busy a lot of the time, I have been able to spend time with the kids. No distractions, just time spent together or one on one. That has been on my heart for a couple weeks now and I prayed for ways to change what I do. I realized I was getting so caught up with email, texts, facebook and such, and it was taking away from time and full attention being spent with my kids. I don't want them to feel that there is something on my phone or computer that is more important to them. I want them to know and always remember how much I love them, how much I enjoy their company and how important they are to me. I'm happy that some of the changes I have made in the past week have produced positive outcomes and also really made up my mind about various things I was being indecisive about. I'm so thankful for perspective and the ability to put priorities back in their rightful places.
I mentioned that I had lunch with my friend, sans kids. That was actually today and it was so great! We went to a cute little place in town- a very grown up place- and ate very grown up food. The food was good but the conversation was the best. (I'm not gonna lie though...the tiramisu was pretty good.) I am continually thankful for God's guidance to grow into this community which, in turn, enabled me to meet people and make new friends. Jen, my friend I went to lunch with, is a blessing and I am thankful for her friendship. I value the connection we have through our faith, the fact that we are both moms trying to navigate life with stubborn girls (and one boy), and also our almost identical likes and dislikes in books, music and movies. God is so faithful to answer prayers. I prayed for a friend here who I could connect with and that is exactly what I got!
This last bit might sound odd but it's how I feel. I am completely and so entirely thankful that I got divorced and moved back to WA. I cannot list all the reasons right now but it is incredible to think of all the things I have in my life now that would have never existed had I stayed married in TN. I get subtle and not so subtle reminders from time to time of how great my life is when speaking with my ex-husband, or reminiscing about my life in TN and also looking forward and "day dreaming" about what God has in store for me and my kids. Life is truly better when you let Him lead you and trust His timing.

Seriously?

It's been a few days. How does time go so fast? Seriously?! Ok here goes.
I am thankful for new friendships that I can see forming. I am so encouraged!
I am thankful for school when both kids go the same day. It's nice to have some time without them...even if it is just grocery shopping.
I am thankful for my friend Randi. I love that I have a friend who is as close to me as my own sister. I'm always so thankful that we have a solid connection that has lasted us 12 years and is still going strong.
That being said, I'm also thankful for my sister. We talk (a lot) every day and I hate the days we don't get the chance to text or call. God blessed us so much when He brought her into our family.
Did I mention that I am reading through the Bible this year? Well, I am. I am really enjoying it! I thought I would be more interested in the New Testament but I am really into the Old Testament. I am almost through Genesis and have really enjoyed it. Reading the stories I grew up hearing the shortened versions of has been really enlightening. On the other side of it, Acts is totally confusing me. I have to read carefully because I get confused about who is going where and what people they are seeing, etc. I'm learning a lot though and I really like the plan I chose. I am using The Discipleship Journal plan and it looks like you can visit their website to subscribe. I got a printout at church.
Www.discipleshipjournal.com

Stuff

Stuff gets in the way of me remembering to post. My week started slow but picked up speed and a hint of crazy. Thinking back a couple of days I am thankful for my health, even with days like Friday when I didn't feel good but didn't know why. I'm thankful for the surprise gifts from friends to remind you that you are loved. And I am thankful for Chinese food. After 2 weeks or more of craving it, the kids and I went yesterday for a lunch/snack date and I got my almond chicken I wanted so much. It was delicious.
As for today, I am thankful for a good nights sleep for both kids and myself. The day seems so much better when you start out feeling rested and revived. :)

Friends

Today I'm so thankful for my close friends. You are my handful of favorite people and I love you each so much. Thank you for brightening my days with our texts and emails. <3